just don't
on men
Hey, you!
Yeah you!
I’m talking to the guy who’s about to disturb a woman’s peace.
Bit of advice for you: don’t!
Has it been a month since she didn’t reply to your last message on a dating app, and you’re about to hit send on a passive aggressive follow up?
Yeah, don’t.
Did you go on a date with her and tell her you’re not really dating at the moment but want to be friends but have no intention of following that up with any semblance of friendly behaviour?
Just don’t: tell her you have no intention of seeing her again so she can move on with her life.
Is she a stranger walking towards you on the footpath, and she’s walking on the right side (that is to say the left side because you’re in Australia) and you’re walking on the wrong side (i.e. the right side) and she doesn’t get out of the way because why the fuck should she get out of the way - you’re the one walking on the wrong side of the fucking footpath mate - and instead of getting out of the way you walk right up to her and put a hand on her arm to move her out of the way even though she’s a stranger and you’re the asshole ignoring the rules of the sidewalk?
Don’t do that. Don’t fucking do that. You scumbag.
Is she a very famous musician/actor/director and you’re a similarly but not quite as famous musician/actor/director and you’re giving her reason to write songs/make movies that every average woman relates to but is disheartened to think that no matter how famous, successful, talented, or brilliant you might be there’ll always be a man in your life disturbing your fucking peace?
How about you just fuck off and write a book about a man on a road trip.
Has it been a month since your last fairly disappointing date and you haven’t texted her since but you have a Saturday night free and want to message her like no time has passed?
Fuck you. It’s been a month. Stay disappeared you douchebag.
Are you about to do something that hasn’t been mentioned on this non-exhaustive list but is obviously going to ruin her day/week/mood?
Don’t. I mean it.
Hey! Don’t!
Instead you could: leave her alone/imagine her interior life/realise she is not simply a thing for you to manipulate or intimidate/go for a walk/call your mum/look at the clouds/cook some food/do your laundry/apologise to her/explain yourself/figure yourself out if the explanation is eluding you/go to therapy/step aside/play cards with your friends/think about someone else for once in your life/simply do nothing.
Just nothing.
Don’t call, don’t promise, don’t get up in her space: just do nothing.
Hello friends.
I left a comment on this video about a song on the new Florence and the Machine album where she sings about “a crowd of thousands came to see me and you couldn’t reply for three days” and enough people liked it that it seemed this is a common enough sentiment:
And with my recent foray back into dating I realised it’s fairly demoralising to have a whole playlist of relatable songs to get me back into my power after disappointing experiences with men because it really does mean that all these famous and successful and talented women are still dealing with the same kinds of disappointing men… when does it end??? when do the grown ups show up???
But it is a banging playlist
Anyway, hope you’re all doing well out there.
If you enjoyed this brief but meaningful post consider subscribing for more:
And for the men reading this: you’re forgiven. But also, just don’t. I’m watching you.